If i told you i suffer from #blushing-phobia, would you believe me?
Only a word like #Blushing can kick me out of my cliche excuses of work life c##p to switch on my laptop and share my weirdest blushing story.
And yes my blushing story is now-where near to being even slightest romantic. This blushing story is unlike any you have ever heard.
All my life words like #Introvert #Misfit #Weirdo #MissAttitude #Blunt #TheBlushingGirl tagged along with my personality. There were times i tried very hard to fight it, to fit in social circles. Its took me years to realize i was trying to change my very being to please others. Having said that as opposed to ‘shyness’, ‘blushing’ was not an characteristic that defined an introvert. The dawn of teenage years made me realize i certainly had tendency to blush at times. But as years kept passing by i started blushing quiet often and in time and space where it started to make me and the other person feel equally awkward. It started to bother me and it affected my communication. This drove me more impatient as i knew this was not normal.
After lot of research i could actually diagnose my reason for blushing so often and infact i could actually give a name to this weird problem of mine. I suffer from a phobia called Anthropophobia.
Wikipedia defines Anthropophobia as;
“Anthropophobia is an extreme, pathological form of shyness and timidity. Being a form of social phobia, it may manifest as fears of blushing or meeting others’ gaze, awkwardness and uneasiness when appearing in society”
As a matter of fact it is very important to understand, that all these weird phobias that plagues any human being at any point in their lives, stems from a fear or trauma developed in their childhood. And i fully second this fact from own experience of developing #Anthropophobia from something very similar. I particularly developed a very intense hatred for men from very young age because of some experiences i had. And explainably so, i have such weird blushing encounters only when interacting with men. The only men in my life before whom i did not suffer from blushing phobia was my oldman, my brother and my boyfriend
But thankfully i am not a chronic case of Anthropophobia. I go on an about my days in social and corporate circle on daily basis. My blushing phobia doesn’t differentiates between age groups, be it a teenage boy or middle aged man or old man or someone from my age-group, its completely indifferent 🤣. There is no specific pattern in the way i blush. Like i may profusely blush to someone i meet daily or maybe met once or may meet randomly, it doesn’t matter😆. My hatred for men used to be so top-notch, that my first instinctive reaction at sight of any man i see (to this day) is to avoid them at any cost. But the good news is my weird condition is curable as this is a behavior sub-consciously adopted into my personality, so with time i can over come it.
But as they say, understanding the root cause of problem means you are already half way through to solve your problem.
My major awareness of my blushing phobia at the moment of interaction helps me a great deal to repeat to myself;
‘My hatred for men that steamed from my personal perception about men cannot be generalized and my blushing emotions are way too important so as not to be wasted on anyone and everyone.’
Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I get irritated on my weird blushing habit. But that’s how I am. Slowly but surely i am sure to overcome my fear of blushing just by being aware of it every single time.